Greetings, Blood Bowl Fans!
We’re coming to you live from the Carrion Coliseum where Da Vulchas just secured the top spot in the South Division by defeating the visiting Nuln Lions with a score of 2-1. This game had been designated the Cabalvision Match-Up of the Week and 30,000 fans turned out to see these two teams battle it out for the top spot. The Lions had fought Da Vulchas to a stalemate when the Orcs visited Standford Stadium earlier in the season, which had left the two teams tied for 1st place. However, Da Vulchas were determined to leverage their homefield advantage during this rematch, and the fans did end up helping the Orcs secure victory and continue their push towards the post-season.
Da Vulchas won the coin toss and elected to receive the kickoff. Lions Kicker Yale Lary hung the ball high in the air, allowing the coverage team a chance to charge down the field before the Orcs could respond. The two teams clashed at the line of scrimmage and Star Black Orc Bumgag Facecutta was knocked out cold and would spend the remainder of the first half shaking off the effects of a concussion. The Lions Blitzers attempted to recover their own kick, but were unable to come down with the ball.
A little slow to react, Da Vulchas response was no less brutal as they recovered the ball and began their usual, methodical march down the field. The Orcs sent two Lions players, rookie Lineman Buke Milson and Blitzer Joe Schmidt, to the Apothecary’s tent although it appears that both escaped serious injury. Thrower Morkid Krookhacka scrambled to avoid defenders while the offensive line tried to open up a running lane. The Lions made the Orcs fight for every yard. At centerfield, Ogre Donk “Night Train” Lane hit Grumm the Troll hard enough to knock him out cold.
The Lions kept shifting the formation to plug each gap that opened until Kicker Yale Lary stumbled as he shed a block and fell awkwardly. With an audible crunch heard all the way in the announcer’s booth, it was clear that he had suffered a gruesome injury to his neck. The Lions medical staff were just able to save his life, but with an injury so severe, Lary may never be the same.
With so many players nursing wounds on the bench, it was inevitable that one team or the other would find an opening to strike. Krookhacka finally handed the ball off to Blitzer Jumm ‘Edwakka and he made a break for the endzone, putting Da Vulchas up, 1-0, and the home crowd went crazy!
After the kickoff, the Lions had just seconds left in the first half to try even the score. Lions Thrower Jake Rudock scooped up the ball and attempted to lob the ball to Barry Randers as he streaked down the field, but pressure from Da Vulchas caused him to fumble the pass as time expired.
The Lions received the ball at the start of the second half. Da Vulchas, over-confident due to outnumbering the beleaguered Lions, mistimed a strike into the backfield leaving their defense out of position. The Lions capitalized on the mistake as Star Blitzer Barry Randers took the hand-off around midfield and bolted towards the endzone. Da Vulchas attempted to catch the speedster, but a couple of well-timed blocks kept the Human Blitzer clear. Racing down the sideline, Barry racked up his third touchdown of the season, accompanied by the jeers and boos of Da Vulchas fanbase.
As Da Vulchas lined up to receive the kick-off, the fans made their displeasure known. With uncanny accuracy, a bench from section 328, all the way in the nosebleeds, sailed onto the pitch and caught “Night Train” in the side of his head. The big Ogre slammed face down in the mud, and his large, limp form had to be dragged from the field before play could continue. Da Vulchas Head Coach immediately dispatched a team scout to that section of the coliseum with instructions to sign to the practice squad whoever had hefted the bench that far.
Down several players and without their linchpin Ogre to hold the center, there was little the Lions could do to prevent Da Vulchas from driving back down the pitch. Jake Rudock, determined to prove who was the best Thrower on the field, laid out Morkid Krookhacka with a vicious block that drew a confused response of anger and respect from the crowd. Although the Lions continued to throw themselves in front of the Orcs in a last ditch effort to run out the clock, Jumm ‘Edwakka brawled his way into the endzone for his seventh career touchdown and sealed the win!
With two touchdowns on the day, ‘Edwakka was awarded the match MVP. Goblin Taktot also received recognition for filling in during the first half without screwing anything up or getting killed. The Lions, frustrated at the loss, apparently took out their frustration on the visiting team locker room, doing nearly 20,000 gold pieces worth of damage to the facility.
Head Coach Vomad the Vicious didn’t seem overly concerned. “Da Visitas Locka Room wuz too fancy for dem gitz inny-wayz. Dey kin change pantiez in da squig stalls fer now. Da gobboz kin fix it win dey git to it.”
With three games left in the regular season, Da Vulchas need to finish strong to maintain their lead in the division and secure the best seed for the playoffs. Next week, Da Vulchas will host another divisional rival in the Grudge Bearers. Check your Cabalvision listings for broadcast date and times.